I'm not really a clutz by nature. A dumb ass? Yes, sometimes. A bitch? Sure, every damn day. But clumsy? No. Just not my thing. It must be the pressures of the new job, but lately I am everywhere. Literally. It began about a week and a half ago when I was on the phone with Kellly Lynn. We were discussing matters most important when Loren needed a hand carrying in my new memory foam mattress. Since he had to haul it up three flights of stairs I thought I'd lend him a hand and bid Kelly adieu as I set my phone down for just a quick moment. It wasn't until about 30 minutes later and it was raining when I needed to make a call that I remembered its whereabouts, by then it was too late. Then a few days ago, after my first grueling day on the job, I had to drag Cass, a friend of hers and Devon around while I ran errands. My car was straight out of some Disney 'tween channel night mare show, squeals coupled with constant chatter, and as I stepped out to the video store I somehow ended up snuggling with the sidewalk as I wondered just how much of my knee and elbow had merged with the cement. I t turns out a lot. And then today I somehow left my windows open while I stepped in to Loren's school to get his schedule adjusted. He had been given an open period during one of his days and I had to inform the academic counselor that all sorts of teen badness would ensue if my child were left to his own devices for 90 minutes every other day. As I was headed out to the car another mom cornered me and droned on and on until I was able to make a dash for my bug. By then it was too late. The sprinklers had blared through my windows and the interior was dripping. I now have no radio, no speedometer, no gas gauge and no RPM thingy. Not too mention and incredibly soggy ass.

So what gives? Have I pissed off the universe? I would like to think perhaps I have upset the planetary alignment by throwing things out of order with my new job. Maybe I should return to my slow motion reptilion existence and quit this employment madness. It could be that is really isn't all about me, that I am just sloppy or distracted lately. Though prefer to imagine the ebb and flow of the universe depend on my schedule and everybody else is without phone service and unable to determine the speed of their vehicles.