Caloden

A few days ago I got hit on by my friend's ex-husband. Most of the time I wouldn't have the foggiest idea that a man was interested in me, in fact I go through life assuming that they aren't. But this attempt, or series of attempts, was/were so over the top in silliness that there could be no mistaking his intentions. I happened to be helping out my friend on her job because she is terminally ill and needs as much help as she can get these days. Unfortunately for everybody she and her ex have the same job and so any time she calls me in for assistance I know we will be working in the same vicinity as Mr. Creeper. Ick. The first day began with him valiantly trying to engage me in conversation whenever possible, to the point where at the end of the day I was literally backing up out of the office and in to the car with him following me with his gabbing, I finally ended up shutting the door in his face while watching his mouth continue to pump open and shut. The next day he cornered me in a chair, sat on the edge while he sort of wrapped himself around my back and then proceeded to make a phone call. I was so grossed out I had to leave the room over his protests that I should stay put. Shortly there after I encountered him in a hall where he placed his grubby paw on my shoulder and tenderly asked how I was doing. Ew and double ew.

Yesterday I confided to my friend that I was more than a little wigged out by his sudden interest when she started cackling her congested laugh, she is attached to an oxygen tank at all times now, "He likes you! He liiiiiiikes you! Isn't he just the grossest?" She told me that he wanted me to understand that he is really the wronged one in the divorce and that by wooing me I will see his golden side. My firm opinion is that this man belongs in jail or something worse, I will never be able to think of him in any positive light. Ever. My friend asked me if I was flattered and I told her that no, I was grossed out and felt as if I was covered in some sort stink slime. She patted my back and said I was all the better off for rejecting him. Then she cackled some more.

But here's the thing, why is it that the only man to look my way in over two years is slimier than a used car salesman and old enough to be my dad? What kind of she stink must I be putting out? Not a good thing there.

The nice thing about summer and having friends with different schedules is that my older kids sometimes get trapped together. I love this, having them all together. It makes the mama hen in me want to stand up cackle in victory. The other day they entertained each other in the pool while I watched from the sidelines. Loren isn't a huge water person but he put on his game face until I let him go play XBox. Cass and Devon played in the water, well Cass was in the water while Devon directed her from the side, for hours. Although Devon doesn't wear the fins and snorkel everyday, this is sort of how I see him when I picture him in my head.