Sometimes I like to envision myself as something of a caped super hero as I wend my way along my path of motherhood. It might be a bit grandiose, but it beats the hell out of biting my nails and makes the time go much more smoothly. Take this afternoon for example. Devon had been INSANE all day, a state which often occurs when he returns from a weekend at his dad's house. I had to pick up Cassidy at 3:20, then travel 16 miles to Loren's school and then turn around and travel 30 miles in the other direction for Loren's orthodontist appointment, all before 4:00. No worries, I thought to myself as I picked up Cass and swooped out of town to Loren's school. I breezily handed her a bag filled with snacks, Nutella sandwiches cut with a spaceship cookie cutter to remove the crusts and seal the sides and an Izzy drink for both her and her older brother. Spying the look of pure happiness on her round, freckly face, I gave myself an inner pat, shook out my super mommy cape and kept my eyes on the road. Next was Loren's pick up and then off to beat the clock against after school traffic, curvy mountain roads and other harried moms in a hurry. We made it to the orthodontist's office only three minutes late and with minimal fighting, thanks to my cool headed thinking for packing the fun snacks. Unfortunately, by the time we got in the office Cass and Loren were scrapping something fierce and it took all my patience to suck it up and not let loose with screaming at them white trash style in the waiting room. After all, I had just driven as fast as humanly possible and here my spawn were behaving like asses. But a super mom is not trash, she is cool and collected.

While waiting for Loren, whose doctor was for once running quite late, I realized we would just barely make it the 15 miles home to our own town for Cass' 5:15 soccer practice. I told her to go change into her soccer outfit in the bathroom, she looked at me blankly and informed me she had left her bag at her dad's house. It was the second time today she had forgotten something, this morning she called from school needing poster board and that entailed a trip to the store and then to her school. Again my SM strength kept me from reaching out to wrap my hands around her scrawny little neck. At 4:57 Loren got done in the chair, we turned in his chart and made an appointment before trooping out to the car and loading up for the next flight. On the way to Matt's house I called several times, only to get his voice mail. Cass was finally able to reach of him and we arrived at his place at 5:16. I opened the door, pushed Cass out and then
pulled her back in with her soccer bag in hand. I dropped her at the playing field at 5:19, just as the other girls were running laps. After that I had a few things to grab at the store and I told the boys they could pick out some ice cream. Just those two words sent Devon into a frenzy as he barreled out of the car and into the store. Luckily we know most of the people in town and they know that my children are complete heathens, so to see my youngest sprinting through the store and shrieking, "Heyyyyyyy, everybody! I getting iiiiiiiiiice creeeeeeaaaaaaam!", is not too unusual. Of course Devon had to do his usual business of picking up every possible item and sitting with it on the floor as he inspected it and requested I buy it for him, all while the ice cream was getting soft. At this point I could feel my super hero prowess beginning to wear and I just wanted to drag Devon by his heels despite the fact that it was rush hour in the store and jam packed with other moms and perhaps even some of my childhood teachers. But no, no super mom does that. So we paid and headed out to the car. For a moment, just the smallest of moments, I let down my guard as I was loading the groceries and Loren was getting Devon in his seat. For some reason the car door whacked Devon full boar in the forehead and he fell to ground screaming. My cape can withstand many things: not enough time to get too many miles from where I currently am, ill behaved children, embarrassing encounters with people I haven't seen in a long time and I know they are judging me...... But my youngest child with a whopping blue dinosaur egg erupting on his translucent skin? The cape can't do that. So there he and I sat in the parking lot of the super market, cars trying to angle in to the only spare spot in the lot where we happened to be huddled. Devon was screaming incoherently, Loren was muttering about a visit to the emergency room, I was hoping that titanium shunt on Devon's aorta was up to snuff as his chest heaved and he threw back his head in pain.

Turns out Devon is fine. Some children's Tylenol and arnica cream to the bump and he calmed right down. Well, and also an ice cream sandwich. My cape is all used up for today and I welcome the day it turns up again, filled with mommy arrogance and sass.